'Right' to express
How many times have you desperately wanted the other person (may be your partner) to understand something without saying? How many times have you tried to manipulate your words to tell something you really want to but it gets interpreted in a completely different manner? How many times have you used: Actually, I would have loved to, Unfortunately instead of ‘NO’ and similarly May be, Can we, I wish instead of ‘I want it this way!!!’ ?
If you have never experienced any of the above then either you are a holy saint or an artificially intelligent computer. :-) :-)
I am like every other guy and I have a strong feeling that most of the times we make things complicated by not expressing it right! A wants B to understand something without saying, B is confused and unsure of his interpretation, B goes to C to discuss about his understanding of A, C comments to B with is own impression about A and ultimately B ends up doing something completely different than what A had expected in spite of the fact that B had put genuine efforts to fulfil what A wants. And hence the vicious circle!!!!
Ironically, the word ‘express’ reflects so much energy and agility but still we get lazy or may be deliberately slow down our expressions!!! Of course, I am no exception. But in the hindsight I have tried to figure out why it happens:
1. At times, You are yourself confused of what to express and how to express. Trust me there is no right or wrong expression! Expression is just an expression! A medium to speak your mind and heart.
2. Your mind and heart is not in sync. This appears to be the strongest reason why we do not express. Sometimes, our mind wants one thing and the heart other. We think, struggle, fight, do everything under the sun but when nothing one-sided comes out, we fail to express ANYthing. And most of the times leave it onto the other person to understand it and when the poor guy does SOMEthing (based on his understanding) he is destined to fail because you can’t be black and white together :-).
3. The Gender Bias. Truly, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. And you can’t be ploughing on Venus while being on Mars :-p ! You can look at it through a satellite, you can send a robot to study it but end of the day you have to estimate it what’s in there! No point for guessing it right but god bless you if you got it wrong! You lose all your credibility like an established brand losing its lustre due to sudden quality failure!
It is not about ‘what is right to express’ because that is all subjective. It might be right for me but can be wrong for you. It is just about ‘It is right to express!!’ Just express yourself! Right or Wrong! Leave it for deliberation. Unless you express, it is more probable to be wrong. So why not take a chance!
Trust me Life is simpler when you express. A expresses to B what he wants, B reverts to A whether he can do it or he cannot do it. Both of them take a call! Chapter closed.